Cosmo
by psejhan
Summary: Oneshot. Eric goes to Sookie's house and walks in on Bill reading Cosmo. Takes place after season 2.


An*

Hey, this is my first True Blood Fic and I hope you guys like it because it was a lot of fun to write and I love Alex/Eric so much that I have to apologize to some of Bill's fans. Sooke3Eric Forever! Please just click that button down there and comment because it is much appreciated. Here you go!

Disclaimer: Can I have Alexander Skarsgard or Eric Northman, please? Pretty, pretty, please? Oh, come on! Even just for one night? One hour? One minute!?!?!? One second? Ok, you get the picture?

It was raining hard outside of Sookie's home where Bill was comfortably settled on the living room sofa and listening to Sookie's shower songs. He knew he had to impress her tonight, by the powers of heaven, hell, and fairyland combined plus the article he was reading on reaching that perfect spot while doing other things and readying for the next while doing it simultaneously. He imagined it would be complicated, but he was determined and anyway, he had no choice—he was against the big, badass, sheriff that he wishes to one day be even just a quarter alike, and sometimes, he wished he were a girl so that it wouldn't be so weird for him when images of a naked Eric flashed in his mind.

Bill was reading Cosmo when the hot, Viking sex god of the deprived world showed up.

"Bill Compton, I didn't know you had required readings from Sookie. Found you inadequate, not so surprising." He was smirking with a grin, looking down at Bill with laughter in his voice.

Bill didn't know that "required reading" was lingo for research works and of course, Eric knew this because he was supreme in all aspects. Amazingly, with Bill's killer instinct, he managed to figure that it was an insult directed at his manliness. He threw the latest copy of Cosmo dramatically to the floor, and secretly hoping it wouldn't scatter because he just bought it. "Well, Sook-eh is mahn!" His voice was loud and tenacious. He was easily heat up by Eric.

"Oh, Bill. Sookie is not a man, and I thought everyone knew that, but again, you continue to astound me Compton. But I'm sure we both know that Sookie, is in fact, my telepath and future lover." He even added a wink to further infuriate him.

"You conniving, deceitful," Bill was closing in on Eric, who was at least a foot taller than him which made it look like a pathetic attempt to subdue a building.

Eric was smiling, his eyes squinting at Bill.

"Son of…" Then Sookie walks in and the two men's heads face her so in sync, they should have been each other's soul mates.

"Are you guys going to get it on, and by getting it on I mean hot monkey sex, before I walked in? I'm starting to think that both of you aren't really in to me." Sookie was in a towel, fresh from the shower.

Of course, Sookie was joking and Eric got this and he laughed and added, "I didn't know you were into gay porn, lover."

In spite of Bill knowing that indeed, it was a joke, a harmless, attempt to make peace kind of joke, but to him, it was different. He was a millisecond late with his laughing, thank the vampire reflexes, because he was also thanking vampirism for the fact that he couldn't blush, not without just a little blood in him.

Eric was very turned on with Sookie joking, boobs jiggling, in a towel so he found himself right in front of her the next wink.

"You are in a jolly, good mood tonight, lover."

Bill went territorial and went in the tiny space between Eric and Sookie saying, yet again, surprise, surprise, "Suck-eh is mahn!" In consequence to where he had just lodged himself, which could have been for a normal human being, an impossible fit, he felt Sookie's boobs pressed against his back and Eric's commando on his navel.

Eric pushed away the hindrance and maintained the very intense look he had on Sookie, who couldn't take her eyes away or protest for sake of the lump of Bill on the floor.

"Suck-eh! How could you?!" And Bill went out of her home, running, barely catching a drop of rain, which was very killjoy of him for it was supposed to be another dramatic moment.

"Bill!" Sookie woke up to the reverie that Eric had entranced her with. She didn't even have to be glamored, how pathetic was she?

Sookie closed her eyes and rescinded Eric's invitation against her better judgment.

Bill was very satisfied when he saw Eric walking backwards out of Sookie's home and decided to return. When he did though, Sookie seemed worked up and bothered. He sniffed the air and found out she was hot and bothered. He was about to kiss her and all, but she rescinded his invitation, too.

Eric was flying to Fangtasia when his cellphone rang.

Sookie says:

Why'd you come?

Sookie was reading Cosmo with her cellphone beside her, waiting for Eric to reply when Eric knocked on her door.

"Come on, let me in. I don't smell the caveman anymore."

"Caveman? Eric Northman, who are you to call my boyfriend a caveman when you are clearly closer to that era!"

"Let's discuss it after you let me in."

"Fahn!"

"What? You don't need a fan, it's raining so its cold. Anyway, my body's cold."

"What the hell are you talking about Northman?"

Eric was having fun laughing at Sookie and Bill's twang, not that he really had a problem with it. He just felt weird today, like he could laugh at the world. He then realized that it was his blood in Sookie that made him feel this. She was feeling funny? Funny and hot, actually.

"So what's gotten your panty in a twist? Why do you feel, funny?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"Invite me first."

"Come in." Then Eric walked in and stared at her, trying to figure her out. Why was the imp feeling funny?

"So, why are you here you big Viking of a disturbance."

"How did you know I was a Viking?"

"Bill told me." Then she giggled.

He had this smile, this unbelieving smile when he figured out that she was feeling funny because of Bill. Why the heck? It sort of made him feel good that it wasn't him that was making her feel that way because no one was supposed to feel funny about him, women especially should only feel hotness for him.

"What?" Sookie asked, playing innocent.

"What did Bill do?"

"Ok, I have to tell someone. Oh, Bill I'm sorry. But you have to promise me that you won't tell Bill or I will never let you in my house again unless I'm in danger."

"You're always in danger."

"That is beside the point."

"Ok. I respect your wishes, lover. Anyway, I don't need that kind of material to prey you out of Compton's hand, because you've already slipped out of it." He touched her face to make the point and make the point he did because they started kissing like mad dogs.

Eric plopped her down on the coach and resumed their make out session there. His hands were all over her and so were hers until he raised her a bit and shelet out a soft "ouch".

"What's wrong?" Eric, ever the gentleman asked immediately.

Sookie panted, and sucked a breath before she started o feel with her hands what had poked her ass crack. Her hand came up, and there she held the source of the funny feeling that Northman had been receiving all night long. He knew it was the source, because right after she saw it she went into a fit of laughter complete with teary eyes. Northman had to laugh along with her but she suddenly stopped, and the feelings of heat all suddenly loomed with darkness.

"Oh my gosh, I have a boyfriend and his name is… Bill! Get out of my house!"

Eric was in the mall, doing a bit of retail therapy after Sookie had sent him out into the rain. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted a magazine rack, and there it was, "Cosmo". He didn't know what to feel about the darned magazine… was it hate or gratitude? So he went to the stand and bought the issue. The cashier was laughing at him but since when did he care?

He opened the magazine and found the right card and quickly dialed the number. "Hello, my name is Eric Northman and I'd like to sponsor a subscription for my friend Bill Compton. Yes. Yes. No. Yeah. It's 1-1-0-0. Charge it all there. This is a surprise so don't tell him. Okay, thanks. Bye."

AN* Comments please ^_^

Puss och kram

perper


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